Adding To The Pot

Did you ever wonder if you add to some one's pot or take from it?

As a child, I am sure I took quite a bit from my parents' pot. I know I definitely took from their wallet. I hope I added to it too, by getting good grades, doing what was expected of me and behaving most of the time.

As a teenager, I still took more than I added.

As a young adult, I was taking.......

As an adult, I am now giving back to them, I gave them a son (my husband), two grandsons and I moved out and stayed out! I also haven't asked them for money in a long time.

My sons are definitely in the taking mode right now!

But my question is not about giving or taking from family, it relates more toward the people that you meet in your day to day activities outside the family circle. I know a lady that tends to take from me more than most and most of the time it is OK. Lately though, she seems to take, and take and take. I am tired of her taking without giving. I know it sounds like I am being mean, but the relationship is extremely lopsided. She is a diabetic, with two grown children and a son the same age as my oldest. She lost her spouse in 1998. Her health has deteriorated since I met her in 2000. Her older children have little or no regard for her and she is in need of a friend.

I have helped her many times, by taking her to the Emergency Room and sitting with her until she was admitted and a family member came. Taken her son in when ever she asked, dropped everything to help her, yet she doesn't help herself. For example, when she asks "what can I do to help my son with school work?" I tell her call the guidance councilor, she doesn't and when her son's report card comes home with 2 F's and 4 D's, she asks me what to do about it. I gave her the answer three weeks before, three months before and three years before.

I enjoy giving and most of the time it really makes me feel good, but lately I have been analyzing the adding and subtracting that I do and others do to me. I have decided that the giving I will be doing must also add to me now. The adding can be as simple a smile or just that good feeling you get deep down inside, but I need a little something too!